Stoic Prompt Week 1 (2024)
"We control our reasoned choice and all acts that depend on that moral will. What's not under our control are the body and any of its parts, our possessions, parents, siblings, children, or country -anything with which we might associate." Epictetus, Discourses 1.22.10
Am I seeing clearly? Acting generously? Accepting what I can't change?
I do not know what is up to us and what is not up to us, from an emotionally intelligent standpoint. Intellectually it is clear. Yet, in the moment I do not always use my head. Seeing clearly presupposes that my assessment is unbiased, not affected by my fears, my prejudices, my vices. My hurt.
I recently went through a sequence of interactions, one in which I reacted in an ungenerous way, employing an abusive tone with my love and another interaction where I used my reason and good judgment before acting.
In the first instance my anger was knee jerk based on an incorrect supposition. My anger was quick to express itself, causing hurt feelings. It was completely unjustified. Knuckleheadedness. On the other hand, an experience that occurred shortly thereafter with a different loved one, caused me great internal distress, but I saw that for what it was, a problem external to me. It was not directed at me, per se. In this case, I accepted what I cannot change, and my stress level was only moderately raised, but it did not stop me from enjoying my day until it resolved itself. That is a good thing. The former example, however, caused me great stress and shaded the day, probably for both of us.
This is an area that I need to work very hard on to help steer me to examine my perceptions, then re-examine them, before coming to a judgment and acting precipitously. Or reacting at all.
Stoic Don'ts
1. Don't be overheard complaining not even to yourself - Marcus Aurelius
2. Don't talk more than you listen - Zeno
3. Don't tie your identity to things that you own - Epictetus
4. Don't compare yourself to others - Seneca
5. Don't suffer imagined troubles - Seneca
6. Don't suffer before you need to. Those things will happen, or they will not - Seneca
7. Don't overindulge in food or drink - Musonius
